Possible trigger warnings It’s been a bit of time since I last blogged. Three days shy of an entire year. Obviously a lot has changed in our world. I’d like to say a lot has changed for me as well, … Continue reading
I know that I’ve really sucked at blogging as of late. It took me a while to adapt to my new job and the hours (and driving) that comes with it. As a family crisis counselor, I travel to family homes and assist them with intensive in-home therapy three times a week per family. I love my job, but it did take me a good while to get my schedule under control, learn the job expectations, and develop my own style for success.
Needless to say, my writing was put on hold. I took 2016 off from writing in almost every way. It did not hurt. However, I am finding that beginning is hurting. I lost my motivation, lost my routine, lost some creativity, and honestly, I felt I lost a huge part of myself. Granted, story ideas, characters, and plot twists played within the confines of my mind so I can’t say I quit E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Continue reading
I know that you were scared. I know that you keep worrying and stressing. Not writing is slowly killing you on the inside. But you’ve been here before and you’ve escaped the darkness, resolved to push through all your fears. You keep telling yourself that you aren’t a writer, but you know deep down that isn’t the truth. You feel that constant need to write. It is a niche that refuses to go away. All those single line sentences that leads to wondering if that’s a good line for story. Names you here suddenly spark an idea for a new character. You see someone do something and you tell yourself you know exactly which character would do that. All those things you secretly do all amounts to one fact. You are a writer. You may let those fears and doubts drown you for a week, maybe a few months, maybe even longer than a year. It won’t change the truth. You are a writer. Always will be. So suck it up buttercup. Just right now. Yougotsdisfersure. Love, Me
Making family time a priority shouldn’t be difficult, but let’s be realistic. It is hard. I work long hours and so does my husband. I’ve long since utilized Groupon in helping me plan a monthly family day. This includes making a big homemade breakfast, eating as a family at the table. Next comes an activity, sometimes educational and fun, othertimes just fun. Then we go out to eat (usually another discounted meal thanks to Groupon or not). Then we go home and relax, play kahoot or watch television together.
It’s not much but it is a huge something. It’s making memories. It’s attending and being present and telling my family with actions and behaviors they are loved, important, and deserve my time and attention. And that is something they can take with them for the rest of their lives.
I’m not a perfect mom. However, I believe these activities make a huge difference in how they grow up. So, what are some of your family memories.?
So for three long years my writing partner Will and I worked diligently on co-writing our epic fantasy series. We finished in January with book one. I’ve not been able to touch the dang book (book two) ever since. Oh, I tried. I definitely tried. And we even got a good 25K words in to book two. But, I just wasn’t feeling it. And I could not for the life of me figure out why. Continue reading
Let’s say hypothetically, you know what you want. You know what you want to obtain. You know what you are reaching for. Okay? Let’s just say all that. (I hope it’s true.) Now, let’s go one step further and say that you are not going to stop until you get what you want or where you want to go. Okay? Cool.
Here are some important things you need to know…
It’s totally going to cost you. Yep. Sorry, but it’s the truth. It will cost you in a number of ways. Let’s say things get tough and well, it’s just too tough for you. I hope you wouldn’t do it, but a lot of people just give up when things get tough. (We-you and me…we aren’t going to give up though. RIght. Damn right!) However, if you were to give up (and I’m just saying this even though it won’t happen- IF you were to give up, it has cost you YOUR GOAL.)
When things get tough, it’s the complete truth that you will get frustrated, stressed, self-pity, shame, upset, agitated, sad, maybe even depressed. And when you are under such emotions you tend to make the WRONG choices. Don’t. When things get this way you need to make the HARD choices. The RIGHT choices. Even when you feel like doing the exact opposite, you must choose to make the right choices. Even this will sometimes cost you. People around you may doubt your abilities, even your choices. This is when you need to look within. Look inside yourself and remember what it is that you want and tell yourself that you will not give it up, for anything. Even when your loved ones are shaking their heads and telling you to stop. Continue reading
I love my job. Working at a substance abuse facility with residents who are inmates and parolees at first was not exactly what I had in mind for my internship experience. However after a while I found my place, my niche you might say. More than that, I was accepted and embraced by all 70 men as a friend, a confidant, and someone they truly respected and enjoyed being around. I was blessed when just a month before my internship was over, the position as counselor (full-time) was mine. I spent time educating them about addictive thinking, process of relapse, and counseled an average of 27 guys individually as well as holding group therapy twice a week.
The year I spent there not once did I wake up and roll over, cover my head, groan, and complain “I don’t want to go to work.” Truth be told, for the most part it doesn’t even feel like a job. I enjoy going there on a daily basis. The residents made it so simple to consider their home my ‘home away from home’. It is definitely hard seeing them leave (it’s only a six month program) and you better believe bonds were formed. They kicked my butt at chess, looked forward to seeing what three guys I would play dominoes with, and always eagerly anticipated the resources I was able to share with them. From setting budgets, filling out FAFSA’s, printing off guitar tabs, and finding poetry, these guys recognized I LOVED helping them with practically anything they brought to my office. I as much as they thrived on the role I played. Continue reading
When I was three or four my Granny O. had these three small, fat books. They were my favorites and I learned to read using those books. I’ll admit today when I go visit her I always fondly recall those books. Even though she doesn’t live in the same home as when I stayed with her I still go to her house and can’t help but look around the place and I am swept back into time. A time where she would give me flashcards with letters and I would have to put them together to form words. A time where a myriad of Disney Comic books and others drew me into a world of make-believe where princesses could slay the dragons, youth had power and could save the world by believing, and magic closets and lions were something to seek and fall in love with.
She instilled in me a passion for reading and writing. She introduced me to many fantastic voyages. She proved to me that while television and movies were fun diving into a book created many more opportunities and there was no limit to where I could go, who I could meet, and what I could do. While my mother would show me books like Good Night Moon and I loved those special moments of her reading to me, it was my Granny O. who gave me the book Fievel, An American Tale. I loved that movie but seeing the story in words, along with the pictures, it was amazing. I learned that those movies I loved were only a bunch of words and some colorful pictures.
It may sound silly to you, the reader, but for me, that was a pivotal moment of change for me. I was forever altered, never to be the same girl. From that moment I was a writer. I wrote stories. I was only six and seven so my experiences weren’t wide and far but I still ‘wrote what I knew’. I merged characters like Curious George and Shirley Temple and gave them adventures. In fifth and sixth grade I was fascinated with the emergence of AIDS. TV commercials offered advice and info (just call this 800 number!) and learned as much as I could by getting brochures and pamphlets. In sixth grade I wrote a novella (though I would hear that term for years to come) and I won a Young Author’s Award for my story about a young girl whose brother had contacted AIDS and if she didn’t change her life she would likely end up the same. Continue reading
Do you know what the fruits of the spirit entail?
I am a woman in process. I know I’ll never get each attribute of the Holy Spirit perfectly aligned and mastered. I know I am not perfect and I am blessed that I can be constantly growing. I love a lot, sometimes too much. It has taken me years to understand the joys of life. I am not always the best at long-suffering or kindness. Goodness! Ha! Sometimes I see more of the devil in me than should be allowed or even possible. My faithfulness often lacks sufficient endurance as well. I do feel I have a great deal of gentleness within me but man…my self-control. Whew! I know my self-control is problematic. Continue reading
Our view of ourselves, as women, is a complicated and at times messy one. We delve into chaos when we begin to search our inner selves. But I don’t believe that is the way God made it to be. I think we women make things more complicated for ourselves. I know I sure do.
I have endured years of madness, darkness, lack of serenity, confusion, depression, and so much more. Am I where I seek to be today? Heck no. But I do feel that I have made a lot of strong progress in reaching out to becoming the woman I want to be. And yet I still question what is means to be a woman.
Dealing with identity crisis is not what I want to focus on here though. Why focus on the problems? Why not focus on the solutions?
What are the solutions?
The world may never know. J
However, for the rest of 2014 I am embarking on a personal journey. A journey in which I seek for purpose, peace, and passion within myself and within my world. I firmly believe one single solitary person can make a difference when they accept the challenge to make a difference in themselves.
For the month of July I am going to focus on giving myself a full makeover. Not JUST on the outside (but I am working on that as well) but on the inside as well. Continue reading