The first half of 2014 was super great for me. Yet, for some reason the second half was difficult for me. There were a lot of great triumphs for me but just as many changes that were hard to accept. I even achieved many of my 2014 resolutions I set for myself back in December 2013.
And today I can’t stop thinking. I am constantly asking myself all kinds of questions. I still can’t help but feel ‘stuck’. Part of me knows what things are making me feel this way and other parts of me remain clueless.
I am fortunate to know what my passions are. I even know what my purposes in life are at least for this moment-because I believe our purposes change as we grow and learn and move into other journeys.
As always in December I am trying to sift through the choices I made this year. I am attempting to decipher who I am today, how I am different from I was, and what I want to do and who I want to be tomorrow.
Can any of you empathize with me on this? I cannot for one second believe I am alone in these feelings and thoughts.
I graduated grad school this year. I have a Master’s in Professional Counseling. I know that my life’s purpose is to help others. And with my passion for the creative arts-reading, writing, music, and more I know I can do a lot of good. I know I can.
Tonight, however, I realized something about myself. Perhaps I’ve known this subconsciously but tonight I was able to give it words.
I think too small.
I can’t seem to get myself to think bigger. So, among the other new year’s resolutions I am making for myself this one will be on the top. I have to stop thinking small. So here is what I plan on doing…
I will invest in myself. Not just thinking about ways I can do or be better but really invest in myself. I began this in 2014 by paving the way financially for me to attend a writer’s conference. And yet…I was still thinking small. This next year I will do more for myself with regards to what I want and need and hope to achieve for myself.
I will develop an unshakable belief in myself. I must stop doubting my skills, my passions, my purposes. I know what I have inside me and I will use it fully. I will believe in myself 110% because if I don’t, who else will?
I will expect trials and tests to come because of my belief in myself. I will accept the fact that things will not always go according to my plans but by believing in myself 110% I will find alternatives. I will jump through the plot-twists life gives me.
And lastly, I will absorb the feelings of success AND failure whenever they come. I will allow myself to breathe in the good and the bad. I will think deeply about the highs and the lows. And I will trust in myself that everything that happens to me is leading me towards one success or another; even one failure or another. If I fail at something, at least that is showing growth in myself. I’ve learned one more way NOT to do something.
I don’t like feeling stuck. I want to move forward. I want to live and not just exist. I want to be. I want to do. I want to grow. I want to help others.
My words for 2015 are DREAM, LEARN, CAREER, and CREATIVE.
What about you? What are your words?