It’s that Wednesday again. Time to get some insecurities out….confessions r us! Be sure to visit the IWSG site to read what others have to share!
I want to write. I want to write and write and write and I want to publish and make lots of money doing it. At times I think, “Why don’t I just write a cheesy little novel that is all vampire, or wolf, or Fairy, or whatever just so I can publish it and have a book done and sell it like crazy hotcakes on a winter’s day down in the south with Mama Jamma…!!! Why the heck not? It can’t be hard, right?
Then I realize the truth. I’m just not that kind of writer. And after I take into consideration that my novels are deeply layered story ideas that have a lot going on in them and that those are the type of books that are INSIDE me…then I sit back and sigh. I have two books written, two books that need editing, and I’ve got a few works in progress. I can either get lost in the maze of getting something out fast and publishing it and starting all over again…or I can take what I have inside me and write from the heart.
It’s not the lack of writing…because as I said, I have two books written from beginning to end. How many people can say that? You know? Sure, I need to kick my ass into gear and finish editing the material. And I need to get my one book self-published and I need to get my shit together and push my other manuscript out there to find and agent who will love it as much as me.
Still, writing is hard. It’s not always fun either. And sometimes it sucks. Really sucks. But I also don’t want to lose sight of myself or the stories that are inside me. The REAL stories that I have to tell. I’m sure I could push out a wimpy, cheesy book but I would look at it and say…oh my Gosh…why did I lower myself and my standards for something like THAT? I could have spent that time applying my passion and my skills and my knowledge to what I truly want to write.
I have a lot of stuff to write. I have a lot of stuff to scream out at the world ‘read me and read me well!’ But if I keep looking at the kind of writing that is the easy way out, I’ll never be satisfied. More so…frustrated, angry, guilty, and totally stupid for having done that.
My lesson through this post:
Don’t lower yourself or your writing standards. Don’t lose your voice because you are impatient. It’s so not worth it in the long run.